the warmth of his touch..
felt so fragile in his arms..
LOVE LOVE

Mr Sensitive you make me smile (:

10:32 PM
Bridget

Gary still seems rather unhappy in his tank..
i guess i will remove e rocks and give him clean
water tmw..hope he feels better..

today i walked into the lion's den
knowing a lion sat there awaiting to
devour me..

i guess..i just couldnt keep my emotions
bottled inside..its poisonous in a way..

~smile, cause there a rainbow above

10:55 PM
Bridget

HELLO
today i changed Gary's water..
and when i transferred him into e temporary
tank- he stopped moving
GAWD
i started screaming..
Gary dont die..
crap i murdered Gary with a fishing net!
and i was shouting like mad on e 3rd floor..
and i called Andrea all e way up to see if Gary
was really dead
because i was too afraid and scared
to see for myself :C

And Andrea said:
His alive! his gills are
moving!

-_-"

A whole lot of mellow drama for the afternoon...

~packing my room, rehearsal tonight 7-11pm!
Zzzzz

4:57 PM
Bridget

should i get something similar for 60...im wasting money again.. :(







im bored and im waiting for avatar to load...so i will just create my back to school shopping list here..

2:47 PM
Bridget

sometimes i think u dislike talking to me..
or that u dont want me anymore :C

than i reflect back on the little things..
the anxiety and the worry...
the invisable attention
the apologies

and i wonder if i expect too much..
that i am silently demanding..
difficult to manage
and that i compare too much..

maybe its because i keep
focusing on the larger picture..
that i overlook on the minor details..

~guess what was on my mind when i got my application?

10:56 PM
Bridget

i wonder if im being selfish..

~how do i pray?

5:09 PM
Bridget

The Shawshank Redemption
is a beautiful show..
amazing!

had rehearsal until 12.30 yesterday (:
my first "official" rehearsal..
my cast mates are really nice and
friendly people..
they remind me of why i love
church people so much..
their the kindest souls on earth

like when i was leaving...
this family of four whose
2 kids were in e musical..
offered to walk me to e bus stop
cause it was really late..
and 2 of my cast mates are in
SP too..one of them in my course...
seems like everyother person in my
course :P haha

and today...in stc
when i was returning the money collection box
and i accidentally dropped the box
on e floor and i spilled coins all over
2 women and a little girl
helped me pick them up..

sweet stuff..
this is the reason why were catholics
cause there is love <3

~With every kiss..what does it mean? tell me

9:21 PM
Bridget

yesterday...i had another fantastical fantasy..i want to write a book on lesbianism!
I mean...i am going to study psychology...so eventually i might major in understanding the human sexuality blah blah...

i mean its something that intrigues me why is it that certain people are not attracted to the opposite sex...and how do people turn ? is it really a hormonal imbalance? a psychological problem ? a social issue ? what is it?

and i think i might be able to relate to it better...since like i was in a "lesbian school" and i was exposed to their culture from a very young age which lead me to try and fit into the socitey. but it pretty much didnt work out...i sorta didnt belong and wasnt accepted by them. And i thank God for that! Thank you! im so much happier being who i am now..

but previously i used to think that it was pretty acceptable to be a bung..as i thought that it was okay for people to not follow the society we live in.As in we cant expect everyone to like the same thing we do.And that folowing your hearts desire was what truly mattered. Moreover i thought being a bung was pretty cool :D

Yet as time passed and i matured( yes i am a matured individual) i wondered..if God made us in a certain way...why are we going against human will by liking ppl of the same sex..and even though i had crushes and "invisible" relationships with girls i always felt that my conscience was telling me i was doing the wrong thing and i would go to bed feeling guilty :C

If God created us with love and in his own image and likeness..i dont think he made a mistake when he created us that we were suppose to be born male and not female..I think he made us the way we were for a reason...and gg for sex change..is just pretty much defying who God made us to be.To me going for that operation pretty much means im a coward not willing to face the problems in my life and just taking e easy way out.

~gosh...i wonder if im going to get spammed because of this post.

3:48 PM
Bridget

im up to my neck...

i dont think o levels taught me anything about handling responsibilities or taking stress well...actually i didnt really stress myself much during Os..and they kinda took off alot of responsibilty from use by taking out ccas.. so that we could study..which i didnt do alot...

and i thought after os...life would be pretty easy until i start school again...but thats not the case...im trying to juggle between 2 productions..although i dont hold any major roles..the thing that im worried about about is im not giving them my fullest..

i guess..because when i c ppl not giving me their 100%..i no longer c the need to give my own 100% and i start to slack..(am i pushing e blame?)sighs...and it gets tougher when rehearsal dates clash...and i have to alternate between productions...i hate not turning up for rehearsals because i know that every single person on set is important and even the absence of the least important character is vital..and im becoming that irresponsible person :C

i didnt know ppl couldnt handle 2 productions at once..

and passion play making me really miserable..cause were not any where near done..and we have all been fooling around...which reminds me of the times in secondary school when i used to head productions i would be really strict and demanding with them..but in church i have become really soft with them...why ?

i guess...i should stop playing around and get down to work..

~one more month kim, and its gonna be all gone..
DONT GIVE UP!

stress stress stress

3:02 PM
Bridget

haha...

So confirmation camp is over...
it was alright...
im so happy that i have renewed my faith in him
and i finaly found i was lacking...
why i suddenly felt there was a barrier with my relationship with God..
im happy...

but its not easy..to put him as the centre focus of my life..
im trying very very hard..
:C
i dont want to lose either of your..
i hate arguments..

i guess its pretty necessary..

weather forcast:
~tonight there will be rain

1:36 PM
Bridget

whee...
had fun today alone...
although in between i met people..

the most fun part was
getting lost..
mainly because i was so blurr
i failed to read e signs...

bought my laptop...
sp doesnt have many cute guys...
such a shame...
maybe will see more during orientation

but the I HEART CHIPS guy
was really nice...
thanks for cheating for me :D

cant wait to hit e books!

~little miss independent

starting to doubt again...

11:09 PM
Bridget

i have a splitting headache..
ate chocolate but its still there..
usually it will be gone..
getting alot of these currently..

had photo shoot today...
my arms looked super fat..
i need to do something about it..
my body is seriously unproporionate..
feel like exercising..
but im so freaking lazy :D
and i lost my stamina..
hahaha
EXCUSES

~get me out of my body,and into ur head
LOVE LOVE LOVE
thats e way they say it

7:08 PM
Bridget

im scared...
liking someone means accepting their flaws
but i think your flawless

and im afriad this is just an infacuation

i dont think your the most beautiful person
in the world.. hahaha
but i like that i can depend on you..
when im down..thats enough

Gary been eating more these days
HAPPY (:
Ive been eating alot too but irregular meals
i feel fat
but am contented eating..

~will beat the odds together,i promise

12:46 AM
Bridget

i love the past week...
and i hope it never stops...
:)

i cant believe he actually left
i wonder for how long ?
a week ?
will he be back after that...
sighs...

im woried in a way...
afraid that something bad might happen to him
but his so old...maybe i shouldnt worry..
yet after all that has happened recently..
he is also emotionally unstable and in a way my parents have been
unfair to him when he was younger..
:C

~a family that prays together stays together
where did i hear that from..sounds awefully familiar..but very true..
but kinda difficult in my family or maybe cause i didnt bother to try or was
too self-absorbed to ask..

maybe if we did it...this wouldnt happen

i hope his okay...
wish he was really mature n
be the brother i respect

~i like it when u read my blog (:

1:32 AM
Bridget