U say its not me...and i guess..i finally am able to accept that..it isnt me...somehow i also feel that with this acceptance...things change...that your no longer here...u are physically...i still see u around...hear your voice...

but i just no longer think that ur there to lend me a shoulder to lean on or a hug when i feel that the rest of the world has let me down...because i feel that u have let me down...by not being the person who hurt you..disgusting isnt it...
i wanted to be your everything but i guess...i never was...never will be...

you say life never about me...true...i wanted life to be about me...so that i could mean everything about you..i tasted acid when i asked you if She was ur everything. You said yeah, she was my everything.I never was.

You tell me that you cant spoon feed me any longer...that i got to grow up...make my own decision and choices...walk, run, fall, struggle and stand up again. I know i do. But i just hate that ur not there with me anymore. i want u more than everything...ur embrace, your touch...just you.

Kim, maybe life not suppose to be complete when ur 16. Your not suppose to find that perfect guy...there a long way more to go...people to meet...roads to walk..challenges to face. Sigh...true... but i hate that u wont be there anymore...yet again i wanna be independent...wanna do things on my own and telling u to eat dust...and showing u im glad of my accomplishment...sad that ur no longer here...i finally get the feeling that i officially broke up with you and ur not coming back any longer...i knew it would take awhile for me to finally accept reality...i hate facing the truth...we broke up..bye baby.

* surprise world, i got chosen for St paul the musical.i guess its some minor role. Or they would say there never small actors but only small parts.I think. Not really excited about it I lost my spark.

11:15 PM
Bridget