one day to forget

thoughts of a fragile hearts

9:44 PM
Bridget

Whee...
Went work today..
peeled and cut potatos..
before making mushroom soup..
it was so tiring...i had to keep stirring and stirring
my arms hurt...afraid that my right bicep ( am i right ?) will become larger than my left...and i didnt know it took muscles to cook anyway...arthur said my mushroom soup tasted GOOD :D

Got to make two trays of scallop potatos tmw at home for upcoming partys..

So after work went shopping..
Pei Qi and Yan ling were LATE!!!
im always waiting for them...
My favourite corner at Bugis was close..
:C
But i manage to buy a shirt and a pair of high shorts
for 12.90 ONLY!
i feel so ACCOMPLISHED... :D

Walked down to Haji lane next..
not many pretty stuff..

Arab Street was really exotic and ethnic..
LOVE THAT PLACE <3

Went to Plaza Sing next hoping they will have my shirt
but
COTTON ON...didnt have the shirt i wanted but i bought another one instead..
upset...but i guess the other one will make up..

Shopping makes me HAPPY! Just makes me forget everything...LOVES IT..

SIGH...
but in the end..
its 3 days to try my luck

and when you look to the stars its not mine but i want it so..
dont cry baby dear

11:46 PM
Bridget

4 days to fufil a dream

The heart that whispers a silent wish

10:46 PM
Bridget

HOW TO FIND A GUY IN 5 DAYS...


say it and I'll disappear..

11:02 PM
Bridget

i miss you :(
but your being such a jerk right now...stupid idiot..realised something while checking out 2/8 of the pimplies livejournals just now...there more to life than me and you...and that surprisingly i did not notice that among all of the pimplies im the only one going to poly as a first choice..

jen: some super good JC
JOL: another excellent JC
Yan ling either pioneer or cjc or jurong
Celestine: Pioneer JC
PEI QI: Jurong JC
Thinn: Abroad (australia)
Dayna: Abroad (Australia too)

and i have not even decided where i wanna go yet...im still contemplating between where to go...many people have advised me against lasalle saying that there is no future there and i might just be wasting my time...somehow im afraid after i graduate no production company will want me...my mum says not to worry i will just go teach drama...i know i will make it through the 4 years course...i am talented..screw you...whoever thinks im a proud self-praised ass...But on the other hand...i could have the safe route to poly/ jc ( i can actually enter JCs if i want too) get my diploma n than go further my studies...Or the alternative is..i could just leave right now...i feel like doing that right now...and make the whole world forget me..dont feel appreciated here...wonder if trinity allows me to go abroad..

have to rethink my position...weigh the pros and cons...actually ive already done it when i was in sec 3...see how enthu i am ??? but like everyone's advice are just confusing me... :(

I DONT KNOW WHERE IM HEADED TO

11:23 PM
Bridget

As the moments pass does those words taste foreign on your lips?As the minutes disappear does my name seem ancient to you? As the distance widens does my scent linger away?

Time ticks away and watts seem to grow...yet it somehow feels like everything that was meant to be slowly fades away.No more the young innocent girl that stood before you but a stranger in return. Her hair blows in the wind, eyes wide and cold,cheeks stained with tears and lips pale.As she looks towards you memories of the past flood her mind. Images of red and blue mix violently to form a dull purple.No longer colours of hope but a depressing shade of despair.

Emotions are heavy, a turmoil bubbles within her.Unanswered questions brew deep.Yet not a single tear falls.I wonder why.

But as she turns to go i hear her whisper," I miss you".With a turn of her footsteps she walked away and disappears into the dark.Footsteps echoing away in the distance.

~Let me utter the last goodbye.

WOOO....been ages since i last wrote such stuff...LOVE LOVE..hahas...Tell me when to go...

10:47 PM
Bridget

birthday week is offically over..Time with pimplies/drama friends/family were what made me smile..Thanks for the effort...made me feel like im appreciated in life..i love you people...This year i had 3 cakes...one less than the previous year...Part of me was upset that you werent around this time..but i was able to deal with it..I AM INDEPENDENT!Haha...seeing you soon..hope your alright :)

And would you go the extra mile for me Love?

5:41 PM
Bridget

Crazy stuff have been going on since Janary 12...HAHAs...Especially yesterday..it was awesome...i loved it like crazy...HAHA...the pimplies were super sporting and they didnt complain about any of the stupid things that i asked your to do...loved your presents...even my mum did...especially the photo frame...gonna have some trouble getting e swing up... cause i have a false ceiling...hahas..

Results day...didnt feel like my birthday...just felt like e day i was taking my results...it was really an emotional day for the pimplies...expected to cry but i didnt even though i failed my chemistry...sad..there were some that cried tears of joys while the rest of the pimplies either were disappointed( and cried) with their scores or were not affected by their results like me...haha...i didnt even know if i was happy or sad...i just kept telling ppl i failed chem...i didnt even bother i got 4 As..HAHA...kinda dumb...So Results are:

English A2
Maths A2
Literature A1
Combined Humanities A2
Chemistry D7
Biology B4
Chinese B3

Leading praise tmw with MONSTER MUSHROOM... hope it goes well officially fallen in love with the song Love Song for a Saviour...Beautiful song...also has a very reflective point of view...work tmw...im intrigued and also intimidated by the espresso machine...wanna make really good coffee...but i got burnt by the miachine...and i didnt want to show that i was some gong gong idiot...so i just tolerated the heat...dumb...but yeah...haha..I wanna watch THE DUCHESS...looking for old people to bring me...it has such a wonderful story line...and Kiera Knightly is so gorgeous..

Words to repeat to myself:
Love,Baby,Darling,Cute,You,Me,Photos,Them,Kisses,Empty, Promises, Lies,Tears,Dates,Birthday,Present,Stupid,Idiot,Relationship and
Goodnight.

9:39 PM
Bridget

Thinn emailed this to me sometime ago...only had the time to read it now...i thinks its beautiful and yes...in life even after you bitch about them..their the ones that remain and will be with you always..true love! I love the pimplies all of your...your make me smile lots :) Even though some parts are fragmented.. :)


wherever you go remember there's always

someone to share your thoughts.

someone to hold you close.

someone to dry your tears.

someone to make u smile.

someone to treasure.

someone to hug.

someone to kiss.

No it's not a guy


someone to turn to even when your bf ditched you...

Friends.I pray that ten years from now on ( i'll be 27) that no matter how much we've changed we'll still accept each other because we were once friends and will always be.Cuz there is no ending to friendship.

12:41 AM
Bridget

This put a smile on my face today...




and out there is someone who makes ur heart melt :)

5:13 PM
Bridget

Berries and Yogurt Chupps Chupps Lollipop...my best friend is a lollipop...HAHAHAHA..
Gosh...I probably guess that all the people that passed by me today probably thought i was some depressed kid..maybe i am...with no friends who is thinking of ending my life..

Sat and stoned for 2 hours or less..but i think i looked very pretty sitting there...ok nvm...before that visited certain places..tried to think..but my brain wasnt functioning...I didnt manage to turn on the water faucet to my disappointment...but there were a few leakages...

Another important day to remember...i got to stop giving in to my temptations..im so weak (bleagh!)But at the same time its in my weaknesses..that your there :) Am i making sense? Gosh...im never gonna make it..

2:59 PM
Bridget

Today...
I was a really bad girl...did things i shouldnt do...
thoughts too private and shameful
to be exposed...
yet again sweet...
Im confused with this world

11:49 PM
Bridget

I dont like 2009...
Maybe i shouldnt be saying this....if i keep saying this the year never going to get better for me...Kim you must be optimistic! Look towards all the great things that have come your way...SMILE... :) Thats how u make the world smile...you cant go around looking like a grumpy idiot... I know that all the stress been getting to you so yeah...just umm.. eat sweets and watch tv and smile...HAHAHAHA im talking to myself...i like it when my mature self tries to out talk my childish cry baby one...It makes me sound quite insane...but yeah...i like it in a way...i think ive lost it officially..

birthday coming...what do i want for my birthday...Lets make a list...

Seventeen Birthday Wishes
1.10 PTS FOR Os please!!!
2.Pimplies to go out with me on my birthday :(
3. to see ***
4. Have a fantastic dinner
5. Get closer to God
6. Chanel 2.55/ Kate spade bag
7. More clothes/shoes/bags/purses/Accessories
8. Ipod ?
9. Anna sui perfume
10.Furniture ( HAHA!my room kinda bare)
11.I seriously need a job
12.How about a puppy
13.A baby
14.I want a Laptop
15.Just wanna have fun
16.Money
17.Lose weight

There dont think im a really greedy person...haha...only that the stuff that i want are just really ex :D Haha...SMILE :D dont dwell on the negative

9:27 PM
Bridget

Ive accquired a hobby...since all that happened between us...It is to couple watch... Its a bit wrong and i think these couples sometime find it rather strange or irritating to see me looking at them constantly...but i cant help it...It just reminds me about lots of stuff...i get really envious seeing them displaying affection towards one another...other times i feel really sad on the inside and there are moments where it puts a smile on my face when i reflect on the past...

It makes me recall the past memories and i reflect upon them...trying to come to a conclusion...that the agreement we had was the best and only decision...other times...i just really hate it and i wished you were right next to me now...but i have to grow up and stand on my own two feet... Talking to you now a days just make me feel like depending on you..but i know i shouldnt...its not right...so hard to let go...

Im being very open about my feelings with you...i dont know why i am...but the words,emotions and feelings keeps pouring out of my lips..i feel really desperate by being so honest...and the silly thing is when u read out my post to me...its really funny and light-hearted..HAHAHAHA...but so serious and heart-wretching when i type out my thoughts...im the emo girl :D

Talking to you now again...has put a new beat in my step...but as the days pass...and our conversation wears out slowly each day...reminds me of the past...where we got nothing to talk about on the phone...but i dont want to hang up..cause i wanna hear ur voice and be right next to you...

Talking to you on the phone...is one of the two occasions that i feel connected to you...(this is why i hate silence) the other is when were out alone...just cant seem to feel connected to you when were in a group...feel like ur really faraway...but thats because ur always busy...and i find it awkward to talk to you sometimes..i dont know why...i think im really an idiot...

Telling you everything i feel like saying but just dont have the guts to tell it to you in person...so im sending this to you virtually...

enjoy,compliements from the emo girl.Hope i didnt freak you out.One day im gonna show u that ive matured and am able to depend on myself :D watch me world

12:18 AM
Bridget

im into pleasing people these days...
and im super nice to them and i keep saying all these really polite words like :
thank you, sorry, please etc...

feel really wierd saying them....
sometimes hate that im like that
but yet i want to say them..
funny...
im changing again...


" im wearing yesterday's stain at seventeen" -its my life.

i want that song...depicts my mood right now..

10:30 PM
Bridget

U say its not me...and i guess..i finally am able to accept that..it isnt me...somehow i also feel that with this acceptance...things change...that your no longer here...u are physically...i still see u around...hear your voice...

but i just no longer think that ur there to lend me a shoulder to lean on or a hug when i feel that the rest of the world has let me down...because i feel that u have let me down...by not being the person who hurt you..disgusting isnt it...
i wanted to be your everything but i guess...i never was...never will be...

you say life never about me...true...i wanted life to be about me...so that i could mean everything about you..i tasted acid when i asked you if She was ur everything. You said yeah, she was my everything.I never was.

You tell me that you cant spoon feed me any longer...that i got to grow up...make my own decision and choices...walk, run, fall, struggle and stand up again. I know i do. But i just hate that ur not there with me anymore. i want u more than everything...ur embrace, your touch...just you.

Kim, maybe life not suppose to be complete when ur 16. Your not suppose to find that perfect guy...there a long way more to go...people to meet...roads to walk..challenges to face. Sigh...true... but i hate that u wont be there anymore...yet again i wanna be independent...wanna do things on my own and telling u to eat dust...and showing u im glad of my accomplishment...sad that ur no longer here...i finally get the feeling that i officially broke up with you and ur not coming back any longer...i knew it would take awhile for me to finally accept reality...i hate facing the truth...we broke up..bye baby.

* surprise world, i got chosen for St paul the musical.i guess its some minor role. Or they would say there never small actors but only small parts.I think. Not really excited about it I lost my spark.

11:15 PM
Bridget

this is the really cute waiter but he looks really skinny here...nonetheless..love him

4:52 PM
Bridget

4:38 PM
Bridget

answering my own questions again..
i think im my own blog biggest fan..
love re reading stuff i just wrote

why is this going on?
I guess the reason is, me.
Because of my behaviour...i think his so confused about what im doing.That he begins to doubt that i was ever genuine about everything that happened last year.

Was i genuine?
Yes,i was.I dont regret anything that happened...And i really dont know..why i cant be who i am in front of others when im with you around..I guess i didnt know how to behave...what im suppose to do..maybe because it was a secret thus i felt the need to behave such...maybe thats an excuse.. ( at this moment...i stoned...i dont even know what to write) And the reason why im like that in front of them was because i knew that if some others knew...ppl will talk..thats where im weak..

im a bitch..maybe i should go for counselling and keep myself in solitude so i wont hurt anyone else...maybe i do have some split evil kim inside of me..and im trying to gain pity from u now and ur buying it...Gosh i think im really mad now..

Maybe now u know the truth (i dont even know if this is e truth) u can finally let ur mind at ease and let go...I still love u..

Lord im lost...Send ur Sheperd

1:40 AM
Bridget

i hate 2009...
i dont like whats going on..
i know ur just trying to hide it..but..
isnt it better if we just talk it out?

But if we talk it out..
than we cant pretend that everything alright
and when that happens u wont be there anymore
:C

I cant sleep
i wanna hear your voice
i wanna be in ur arms
i wanna be yours
make me smile

~Without u I'll be miserable at best

why is this going on
i hate it.
wad u said and did today hurt me

but i guess, to u
im the one that really hurt u
ur the last person i want to hurt

1:27 AM
Bridget